Burden

Written in: May 2021

I used to think that my life problems burden me too much, not to mention that those stacked problems that burden me also burden other people’s lives, especially the ones closest to me.

To not think that my life isn’t the shittiest, out of all circumstances, definitely was not one of my specialties.

Yes, I may have passed my darkest days.
Yes, I am relieved, and am doing my best not to ever experience those nightmares again.
Yes, I am now laughing on those days and even marked them as the dumbest stage in life I’ve ever been.
But, the guilt of being somebody elses’ burden, remains.

Wouldn’t ever be standing straight right now.
Wouldn’t ever be so tough after Dad passed away.
Being somebody elses’ burden, although left a neverending guilt inside my soul, somehow became the fuel of my energy.

How do I pay them back?
How do I stop thinking that I was a burden?

Some questions are better left unanswered, and let time tells its wisdom.